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Remembering The Red of the Sunset

Annie sat on the bench staring out at the sea. The orange glow of the setting sun lighting up the dark sky, framing the islands with an inky shadow.  Everything was still, even the waves had slowed down to a gentle hush as they kissed the rocks below. It was one of those perfect November nights. Cold, not a breath of wind with only the sound of the sea birds to break the hush. Annie loved the silence of her bench. In the last few days all she heard was the chatter of pitying voices, the clink of another healing cup of tea, the drone of the funereal prayers and hymns, this was a brief moment of calm and peace.  The colours changed again as the sea started to swallow the sun, orange became a deep pink then red. Annie had loved red but lately it had come to signify so much sorrow. The red cross on the Nurses uniform, the spot of blood on the returned effects, the letter heading on the we are sorry to inform you note and then the red roses her mother in law insisted should be at the funeral. Red, so long the colour of Tom’s hankies, her favourite party dress and young  Thomas’s fire engine that he always left at the top of the stairs.

A car horn beeped in the distance stirring Annie from her bench. She slowly stood up, eyes still fixed on the horizon. Scarf tightly tied around her head, gloves on, she began the long walk home across the fields. This walk had become her solace, the only time when the bells all stopped and the mourning ceased but the path from the cliff edge was bumpy and  she stumbled a few times as she made her way to the gate. The gate ! The gate where she first met Tom 10 years ago, the gate where Tom asked her to marry him! Suddenly the overwhelming feeling of grief, loss and anger filled every bone in her body and she turned to lean against the gate for support, staring once more through her tears out to the sunset. Then there was Tom’s voice, the voice she had last heard five weeks ago at the docks as he wiped the tears from her cheeks. She spun round sure he was there but no, just his voice, just a memory and words in her head …

“Just remember lass, no matter what happens I’ll still be there in the sunrise and the sunset at our gate, I will be there”

Annie started down at the red hankie she had been clutching in her hand and gazing back at the horizon, she said goodnight to Tom, smiled and began the walk home again.

Red no longer a colour of sorrow but of remembrance and hope of a new sunrise and a new day.

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,

we remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,

we remember them.

In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,

we remember them.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,

we remember them.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,

we remember them.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends,

we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength,

we remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart,

we remember them.

When we have joys we yearn to share,

we remember them.

So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us,

as we remember them.

Gullible, naive or a want to believe ?

gullible (adjective) : easily fooled; naive

 forms: more gullible; most gullible; less gullible; least gullible

Time to own up people, how many times have you seen one of those yellow wet floor things and …

1. kicked it because it is in your way
2. ignored it and found yourself studying the ceiling for cracks
3. giggled at the schoolboy humour of a sign telling you to wet the floor
4. obey the sign and give the tiny drip of water on the floor a 2 mile berth

A friend of mine who ran a temp office had a problem with staff using a short cut through the canteen to get to meeting rooms. This usually meant they were late due to various chats and ’I'll just get a coffee to take with me’. So one day she nicked a ‘wet floor’ triangle from the Cleaner’s cupboard and left it outside the offending door that lead to the shortcut. Result, her staff all started using the correct corridor and were all on time for meetings. Gullible or safety conscious staff ? I wonder.

So many times in life we find ourselves using that word gullible. Even the most street hardened of us can be fooled by a card trick or two, the job we are offered that sounds the best thing since sliced bread or the mobile deal that is too good to be true. How much of our gullibility is contributed by our want to believe that the sales guy really does want to do the best for us or that our prospective employers will only make us work 9 till 5? So my question is this, where does belief in the good in others and gullibility divide?

I am sure there are many of us who would like to boast that no bull***t ever gets passed us, that we are never so naive as to get caught out by ‘oh yes darling of course I will leave my wife of 20 years for you but right now is not a good time’ or ‘ no problem, I’ll pay that £500 I owe you next week, we’ll just have to not go on 3rd  holiday this year’. When we  work hard for what we achieve, professionally, financially and personally, why do we insist on being naive teenagers when it comes to trust and belief in others? The little voice in our head is screaming no don’t but do we listen? Nope, and we suffer the consequences while others walk off on a third holiday.

I guess there is an innate want in us all to believe the karma of if I do good, others will do good-by me. But my friends be careful that the good you are doing will not turn round and bite you and your bank balance on the bum. As someone pointed out again the other day, neither a borrower nor a lender be, unless the interest rate is good and you have the capital in your life bank to play with! In life, as in business, if you are going to take the risk make sure the prospects are sound and the contract is signed, if not perhaps give the wet floor sign a two-mile berth or be prepared for the view of the ceiling.

Gullible, naive or a want to believe ? Tough thinking for a Sunday morning.

Gx

Thanks to Paul for looking over this for me.

Glasgow Summer to a Philadelphia Autumn

That is Summer is officially over. When I was walking home last night the first conker on the head situation happened. Right in the same spot as always … batter … a conkery spike in the heid ! It seems that one minute ago it was the beginning of July and now September is just around the corner.

Aye the nights is fair drawin in !

I wonder if it is an age thing that I seem to feel things changing around me so quickly or, is it just that this crazy world we live in has the ability to morph from one thing to another at hyper speed. Just look at how quickly Glasgow became Philadelphia, wee green men disappeared and overnight we had to walk/don’t walk! The Square filled with hot dog carts and ‘cops’ as opposed to Gregg’s Steak Bakes and the polis, it is amazing to see that in the blink of the eye our City Centre became a tiny part of the US.  I walked past where they are filming the other day and watched as one part of the ‘set’ was literally changed in front of the watching crowds eyes, amazing what you can do with black tape!

So as Brad causes chaos in Cochrane Street and falling conkers cause sore heads in the leafy West End, another Autumn approaches. I love Autumn, there is something about the smell of air and the briskness of the mornings, being able to hide under a multitude of jumpers and kick piles of leaves. I also love the fact that it is another move in the cycle of life. Spring brings in the new, Summer helps it grow, Autumn sheds life’s skin and Winter cleans it all away ready to start again. I think it is important that we recognise the changes that happen all around us, it helps us to remain aware of what is going on, whether it is fast paced or going like a snail. Change is good, in the main, but when it is out with our control, I am afraid sometimes we must learn to accept  it and move on. We seem to spend so much negative energy moaning and complaining about how things aren’t what they used to be, but that is life people, it doesn’t stand still.

So have a moan about it getting colder, kick the conker that hit you and stop and look on the magnificence that is the coming Autumn. Those leaves won’t be on the trees for much longer so enjoy !

G x

PS Mustard, ketchup and onions on my hot dog please ! !

Daddy or chips ? Decisions, decisions !

Remember that advert for McCain chips ? The one were the little girl is asked “what do you like best, Daddy or chips ?” What a choice! What a decision for a hungry girl to make! In the end the decision appears to be an easy one for her, chips all the way! Sometimes decisions are simple ones; which cocktail to have, do I order in take out or make dinner myself. Not necessarily earth shattering but what may not be important to you may be vastly important to others.

I guess there comes a time in all our lives when we are faced with life changing decisions. We have to take out our road map of life and decide which route is best. Do you listen to your sat nav, follow instructions and take the most obvious route with no diversions or chuck the damn thing out the window and go down the country roads with lots of twists and turns?  The motorway route would be straight, easy driving with the odd jam but the country route may take us down unknown minor roads providing interesting driving challenges with many gear changes and the risk of hazards. It is not easy and whatever path we take there will always be a back seat driver who will tell you that you should have gone the other route. Life changing decisions, like they way we travel, are very personal and unless we have travelled in someone elses shoes, we should not judge their ‘driving style’ but support them in their decision no matter how hard it can be.

During the week a friend asked, what is more important ? Work or Love ? Danger ! Minefield! Whatever answer you give to this will be wrong in others eyes. In my opinion, the answer is not simple but you have to think when you do reply, did I answer with my heart or my head? The question reminded me of Charlotte who, six years ago, had to make a choice. Did she give up her life in Glasgow, cracking job, gorgeous West End flat and close friends to move to the Middle East to be with her boyfriend of 5 years? Jack had been offered a long-term contract, earning mega bucks with an oil firm and he wanted Charlotte to move out there to be with him. Up till now, they had enjoyed the best of both worlds in Glasgow and the Middle East but now this short-term arrangement would be no more and one of them was going to have to make a huge decision. On paper the Middle East option was a no brainer fab house, luxury lifestyle, financial security for them both, but for Charlotte the decision to be with the man she loved was proving to be not quite as simple. Poor soul was literally torn in two, her heart screaming go but her head saying what if you give everything up, go live in the sun and you are bored rigid? What if love is not enough? Charlotte decided that she was thinking far too much and went with her heart. A quick sale of her flat, two weeks notice and huge party to say goodbye to her friends, Charlotte was lying in the sun beside her own pool. Six weeks later after never seeing Jack till late at night because of his work commitments and schmoozing of clients, her cases were packed and she was heading home. It turned out the Jack she thought she knew was very different from the Jack that lived and worked in the Middle East. Charlotte came home to her family and friends, not one of whom uttered the told you so phrase till she said it herself.

It just goes to show that any change of direction in life is not easy and most definitely not simple. There will be regrets, there will be heartache but as a friend our job is to stand by them, hold their hand, buy the conciliatory drink, say there there and keep your opinions to yourself … for now!

So if you choose the more difficult country route you may just get a better view or get stuck behind a tractor. If you take the motorway you may end up in a rut driving down monotonous, boring, straight roads or you may just get to your destination quicker. Whatever life route you decide to take, learn from your decision and remember you can always do a U-turn, as long as it is legal of course !

Gx

Pleased to meet you … an opportunity or a chore ?

Verb: Come into the presence or company of (someone) by chance or arrangement

Noun: An organized event at which a number of races or other sporting contests are held

When we look at those definitons of the word meet, what does it conjour up for you ? A chat with friends over coffee ? A networking event? A business meeting or perhaps even a date? It is a small word but if you think about it, it has endless possibilities as to meet can be the beginning or the end of a relationship.

Over the years I guess we have all had our share of disastrous ’meets’. The blind dates, the proposal meetings that went wrong, the visits to a client who wasn’t in the mood to listen, the list is endless but I am willing to bet these are all balanced out by the good ‘meets’. Isn’t it funny how we often focus more on our disasters than our successes and how often we say well I am not going back there again.

A good example of this is Mark, he owned his own printing business, was doing really well and his client portfolio was expanding rapidly. One day at his lawyers, he bumped into an old school friend who had just started to work for a brand new garage. The guy gave Mark his boss’s number and told him that it would be worth his while contacting him as the printers they had been using has gone bust. So Mark called up the garage owner and made an appointment to see him the next day Mark arrived on time and was shown straight through to the office. When he walked in the garage owner was on the phone, screaming at someone in very colourful language. The guy gestured to Mark to sit down and continued his tirade to the person on the other end of the phone. Mark thought to himself, this is not going to go well as this guy is obviously not in the mood to talk business. The garage owner slammed the phone down and turned to Mark glowering, his face dark with rage. Now it is possibly worth pointing out that Mark is 6 foot 5 and a rugby player, so very little scares him, but today sitting in this office, he was ready to run. The garage owner sat down and glared at Mark. “So what the hell are you here to sell me? More shit printing?” Mark swallowed hard and was about to start his pitch when he noticed the guy was playing with a letter opener shaped like a knife. Mark stood up, picked up his folder, turned to the guy and said “look mate you are obviously having a shit day, only a fool would stay and try to pitch to you, call me when you are in a better mood”. He walked towards the door, waiting for the thud of the paper knife in his back, but nothing happened. Mark went straight back to his office, still shaking like a leaf at what had been the worst meeting of his life. However two days later the guy called and placed an order worth thousands because he liked Mark’s attitude.

It just goes to show that you never know what a ‘meet’ will bring. Good times or bad, we should never second guess as what we can think is a great success can often be an extreme failure and vice versa. Like the blind dates/meets I have no doubt most of us have experienced. We can think we have been witty, urbane and impressed our date no end but find out later, when they don’t call, that we came across as forward and annoying. Been there, done it and have many t-shirts to prove it. I still cringe at the time I went to meet a ‘oh you will love him, you two are made for each other’ guy. He was drop dead gorgeous and single, however what my friend didn’t point out was that his politics were a wee bit far left so you can imagine his reaction when I told him that I worked for an Investment Bank. A fact I didn’t find out till weeks later when I bumped into him in a bar and we had the embarrassing sorry I never called you chat.

So back to that four letter word meet, what does it mean to you ? Does a ‘meet’ fill you with dread or excitement? Do you look at it as an opportunity or a chore? A challenge or something to run away from ? However you look at a ‘meet’, try thinking of it in a different light, think of it as a chance which may open doors to something new, what can go wrong ? So what if you fall flat on your face, it will hurt, you will get a bloody nose but I am willing to bet you will want to find out what tripped you up so it doesn’t happen again.

Ger x

Pleased to meet you … Gillian ?

Verb: Come into the presence or company of (someone) by chance or arrangement

Noun: An organized event at which a number of races or other sporting contests are held

Question : Have you ever been to an event or party where you know absolutely no one ? Perhaps you have gone along with a friend and then been abandoned or attended an event through work that ‘will be good for your career’, you get there stand in a corner with lukewarm coffee in your hand and pretend to keep checking your phone. Come on raise those hands and admit it! We have all been there, you arrive, stand at the door, scan the room hoping to see someone, anyone you might have a shred of recognition for so you don’t feel like Billy No Mates. I know of one friend, let’s call her Lyn, who actually draws up a plan of action when she has to go to networking events. It is almost military in its operation. Two days before the event, Lyn decides what she is wearing, how she will get there and what info she will take with her. Then she befriends the organiser on Twitter and makes sure she knows a bit about them. This means when she walks in the door, she can ask for the organiser by name and immediately come out with the “so good to finally meet you” line. The beauty of this is that the organiser is usually so busy, Lyn gets offloaded onto the next person who comes in the door and has someone else to talk to.

It is most definitely a skill to be able to walk into a room full of strangers and say “Pleased to meet you, my name is Geraldine and I know no one here”. I am lucky, I can list this skill on my CV

• is able to walk into room full of strangers and network/bullshit for an hour or so.

I get this ability from my Dad, he can be anywhere in the world or in any situation and find someone to talk to. Whether it is the checkout at Tesco or chatting to someone about funding for a project in the Historical Society, he seems to have this ability to relate and find a connection to anyone. I often think that it isn’t necessarily confidence that get’s us through these situations, I think it is courage and making sure we know what we want from the situation and allowing ourselves to be comfortable with that goal. Whether in business or in our personal lives, we set these targets consciously and unconsciously, and it is often when we don’t meet them that our self-confidence gets battered and our courage to try again, lessened. I do not agree with the excuse of “well no one spoke to me so I just left”. There must have been a good reason for attending whatever the event was, we must have set our goal for what we hoped to achieve so what stopped us from attaining that goal and why did “no one speak to us” or was it that we didn’t try to speak to anyone ?

I know of one situation where a former colleague of mine had to give a high level presentation to tender for a contract . The event was being held in a very posh hotel in London and each of the presenters were expected to give the full ‘bells and whistles’ show. Every possible form of media was available and no stone had been left unturned to make sure each presenter had an equal opportunity to put their case forward. Now, Gillian was well prepared, she had rehearsed every move, planned the outfit, made sure she arrived the night before and had taxi booked to venue. What could go wrong ? Gillian arrived at the hotel and started to have a strange sense of deja vu, it totally disconcerted her so much her courage started to lessen. Was she in the right place ? Had she brought all her info? Something was definitely wrong! Pulling herself together Gillian registered at the desk and made her way to the suite where the presentations were to take place. The deja vu feeling returned as she made her way down the plush corridor to the suite, and as she opened the double doors to the room, it all came flooding back. Two years before Gillian and a friend had been here for a similar event. They had got lost in the hotel and convinced she knew where she was going, Gillian burst through a set of double doors, announcing to her colleague in broad Glaswegian, that it “bloody well, is in this f***in room”, only to find herself facing a room full of grey suited bankers and stunned silence. She calmly stood there and asked if this was the AGM of the Pole Dancing Association, “no, ok then it must be the wrong room, my apologies”. Sheer courage and pure Glasgow cheek got her through and they did actually go onto win the contract as well as have a few drinks in the Bar with the bankers afterwards.

Courage! Putting yourself out there and being able to cope with whatever the event or party throws at you. Whether it running into an ex boyfriend or realising that you once got very drunk with the guy on the interview panel, courage my friends, they are probably as nervous as you!

So the next time you have to go meet and network, have courage and relax, you never know which door you might burst through and what opportunity it may present.

Ger x

Pleased to meet you … Paul

Verb: Come into the presence or company of (someone) by chance or arrangement

Noun: An organized event at which a number of races or other sporting contests are held

Have you ever been stuck at a bus stop or a train station waiting for bus or train that never comes? You have planned your journey out, timed it to perfection and nothing … absolutely nothing, no bus on the horizon, no train lights shining through the tunnel. It is normally at this point that you realise that you have company. In my case it is usually a very strange guy with a dirty mac and a dodgy taste in magazines.

So there I am one rainy morning at my usual bus stop on Great Western Road, frozen, soaking and generally feeling like Monday and with no buses in sight. I was joined in my misery by a guy who looked exactly how I felt. After the usual mumbled ‘bus stop’ mornings to each other we both turned away to stare longingly down GWR. Still nothing doing bus wise, so we started the inane bus not coming/weather chat that is standard on these occasions. I found out within five minutes that his name was Paul, he was in Glasgow for a meeting and had decided to take the bus rather than a taxi, oh and he had eggs for breakfast. We were having one of those better say something rather than have awkward silence conversations.

How many times have you done that? Whether at a business meeting, a social event, a family occasion or a bus stop, silence falls and you say something about the weather, what you had for dinner or the lack of pens in the stationery cupboard. Then later on, you think back and cringe when you realise that you just told your boss you had a Kit Kat for breakfast because you hadn’t made it to the supermarket cos your budgie died. Thing is, these inane conversations may make you cringe at the time but they also make us more human, it is often at these times when we manage to connect with someone or make them feel at ease when we realise that we are all just as nervous or feel as awkward as each other. In a crowd, at a party or event, we can have the two line conversation at the Bar waiting for drinks or in the kitchen looking for a clean glass then later on see the same person and smile with a ‘see you got a clean glass then’. It is all about connection that can lead to a brief encounter or life long friendship or business relationship.

Never underestimate the power of the ‘bus stop’ conversation, it creates an impression and not always a bad one!

G x

PS. I met Paul for a drink later and had a great chat about planes, trains and buses. Four years on, I am great friends with him and his family.

Please to meet you … Mary !

Verb: Come into the presence or company of (someone) by chance or arrangement

Noun: An organized event at which a number of races or other sporting contests are held

One of the problems when you come back from holiday is unpacking the bags, realising that you forgot to throw out the milk in the fridge and that you forgot to stop the papers. So once you have held your breath long enough to get rid of the semi skimmed butter and the small rainforest of Heralds, you have to face the suitcase. If you are anything like me, you will put it off for as long as you can, so it was a relief when my phone rang and I had a chance to sit down with a coffee and gab away, while looking at the unpacked suitcase.

The phone call was from Mary*, I hadn’t spoken to her for ages so it was good to catch up with her. I first met Mary at a volunteer event I attended a few years ago, we got chatting after we caught each other yawning at a very boring speaker. Mary is a recovering alcoholic, her story is amazing, full of tragedy, hope, disaster and love. She has suffered so many setbacks in her life that most mere mortals would have crawled straight back into a bottle of gin and stayed there, but not Mary. For some reason the day she decided to become sober, she stuck to it and never drank alcohol again. Despite a thieving git of an ex husband, a messy divorce, losing her house and her car, the woman kept going. Such amazing conviction and strength of character in one woman and where she got to ability to see through all  fog of disasters I will never know. Mary now works with youngsters who have extreme abuse problems, even though she is three times the age of some of the kids she works with, she relates to them very well. I have seen her in action when she talks to these kids, young people whose life is ruled by where their next hit comes from, children with stories that quite frankly would turn your stomach. Mary sits and listens to them, holds their hand and makes them a cuppa. I meet up with Mary now and again, we have coffee and chat about anything but her work. Mary has one other skill, she knows the filthiest jokes in the world and has the laugh to go with it.

I am so glad I met her. Funny thing is the event we met at I wasn’t going to go to. I had had a crap day at work and the last thing I felt like was going to an event to hear about other people’s crap days and sad stories. Guess it just goes to show, you never who you will meet and where, and what kind of influence they may have on your life!

Gx

* name has been changed but I have permission to use Mary’s story.

We’re all going on a … Day 2

Ok, before you ask day 1 was lost to a bunch of old black and white movies, coffee and all sorts of foods not on the five a day list. I apologise, I started with the best of intentions but blame Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr !

So Day 2 of my holidays, no fixed plans due to crap weather so was up early to sort out some banking, decided to make to do list and that I would reward myself with a cake later. By ten o’clock the banking was done, bills paid and to do list completed. I have nothing to do till after 6pm tonight.

Time on my hands ..what to do ? What to do ? For someone who is used to a non stop working environment all day, having a few hours with no plans and no time pressures is very unusual. It is funny how those of us who work in a time influenced environment find, that when we do have spare time, we sometimes struggle to fill it. I guess if you have kids, pets or a partner that dilemma can easily be resolved but when you are ‘single’ that extra spare time is your own.

So do you do something sensible like clear out boxes, file and shred? Do you go through that big bag of odd socks and tights that has been lying in the corner for ages ? Maybe we can finally defrost the freezer and manage to free that bottle of vodka that has been stuck to the frozen peas ? You know what, all these possible decisions just make me want to make a coffee, sit down and read my book.

Without sounding too twee, spare time is a luxurious gift that costs me nothing. Time to sit and chill in peace and quiet knowing that the majority of the ’economics’ of my life are sorted. I am beginning to sound like one of those ads for life insurance  so time to stop. I promised myself that this week I would something for myself every day and today it is not feeling guilty about sitting here reading whilst there are dirty dishes in the sink, the bottle of vodka is still welded to side of the freezer and that my socks are still mismatched. It is much more important that I get onto Chapter 3 and finish this coffee.

Enjoy your day and grab whatever spare time you can … it is fleeting my friends and needs to be enjoyed !

G x